Can i haz VC?

Vcwear_momshirt_5
A great post over on Under the Radar on VC slang:

VC vocab for those of you who are about to venture into, well, venture…and for those of you who could use the refresher:

Star: A portfolio company that generates 5-10x ROI upon exit

Walking Dead/Zombie: A portfolio company that can only generate an ROI, equal to the amount of money invested into it.

Dog: A portfolio company that has no chance of returning any money to its investors.

Kennel Capital: A portfolio of dogs

Dogcatcher: A VC whose portfolio is kennel capital

ArchAngel: A serial Angel investor who has, to date, invested in a number of starts. (See Jeff Clavier)

Blowfish: An early-stage (often pre-revenue) stratup entrepreneur who claims that his company makes better chips than Intel, better software than Microsoft and who knows more about customers and their needs than Dell.

Conservative Estimate: Overly optimistic financial forecasts that inexperienced first-time entrepreneurs generate using Excel.

And our personal favorite…..

Putting Lipstick on a Pig: When an entrepreneur tries to create a positive spin on a negative event (ex. Our management team leaving us at this time affords us an opportunity to retool our entire business focus and go-to-market plans). It can also be used to describe a bad product that is re-launched with new dressed-up front-end or the process in which a VC will over spin a portfolio company’s stort to facilitate a high exit.

And just in case you missed Max’s excellent post on VC wear (that still has me laughing), you can browse some more originals like the one to the left over at Venture Capital Wear.

Now you can talk like a VC and dress like a VC. (YMMV.)

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